Pen to paper

It’s funny how fear works isn’t it? You give it an inch and it takes a mile. No, scratch that, I have a more accurate analogy; fear invites itself to your house and you let it in but you tell it it’s only allowed to stay in the sitting room. Before you know it, it’s slipped into your private toilet when you weren’t looking and dropped the biggest dump ever.

One day, you’re afraid of living an ordinary, unexemplary life and you think to yourself, Eh, that’s okay, that’s an okay fear to have. It’ll push me to be better. You don’t realize it when that fear expands and starts to seep into other things. Before you know it, you’re afraid to make even the smallest decisions, afraid of the future, afraid of forming human relationships with, well, humans.

You don’t realize it till you’re sitting there in your favourite spot with a pen and a piece of paper but your hand starts shaking and you can’t even do what you love anymore, you’re afraid to dream. The fear has become debilitating. There’s crap all over the floor, some even got on the walls. The toilet’s overflowing and you’re up to your ankles in toilet water. You don’t know how you got here or how to make it back to a place before you let fear in, so you just stand there in shock.

As children of God, we have a spirit. That spirit isn’t one of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). However, I’ve learnt that doesn’t mean fear won’t come, it just means that when it does, you have the power to not give it any room. Unless, of course, you have a particular fondness for crap and toilet water.

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On a lighter note, one of my quirks is what I guess I can refer to as a tick in my brain that always makes me want to crack a joke or say an anecdote in a conversation. I have it mostly under control now i.e. I know not to do it in serious situations.

Why am I telling you this? For one thing, I’m a weirdo who may or may not have let the almighty power of having his own blog get to his head and believes he can do whatever he wants on here. Secondly, once in a while, I stumble upon a joke/anecdote I said (wrote) in a previous conversation I had that makes me glad I’m such a weirdo. Here’s one I thought to share: