On the 22nd of August, 2021, at exactly 8:51AM, a press release written by a person of high status was issued to the general public. This person has chosen to remain anonymous for legal reasons.

The press release was marked as ‘Very Urgent’ to be treated as such by everyone. Here it is:

Good morning ladies and gentlemen,

I have exciting news for you and your kin. The day you’ve been waiting for is finally here. After a lot of delay, majorly caused by the painstaking process of getting all the documentation together, I have done it; I have gotten official approval to start the time traveller’s association.

Entry is free for all those who are interested.

Our first meeting will hold on the 21st of April, 1995, by 2PM in Aso Rock.

This should go without saying but I’ll say it anyway; YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE. If you’re late then you just chose to be a dick.

Signed,

Management.

By 8:52AM, a minute after the original press release, another one was issued.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen,

I’m sorry I couldn’t make the meeting, my time machine didn’t have enough juice to get all the way to 1995. I heard the meeting went really well. Pertinent issues like how time machines aren’t real and this is just for laughs were raised.

It is with a heavy heart, however, that I inform you that the association has been disbanded. Apparently, someone thought it’d be a good idea to drop a triple-flusher in the president’s toilet. Nobody knows who did it. Some suspect it was the president himself because we heard that wasn’t the first time it had happened.

Anyway, on the off-chance that it wasn’t the president, we felt it was time to put a stop to it—can’t be travelling through time with a toilet destroyer in our midst. It was fun while it lasted though. Till next time.

Signed,

Management.